Nearly half of American 9- to 12-year-olds have already used an AI chatbot or companion, according to a new Common Sense Media census released Oct. 27. That includes more than a third of 9-year-olds. In other words, kids and AI chatbots now share the same daily routine, often years before children reach the minimum age of 13 that most popular chatbots require.
A second study, from the JED Foundation, found that 57% of middle and high school students turn to AI when they feel sad, stressed, lonely or overwhelmed. Then on Oct. 28, New York Gov. Kathy Hochul signed a law that bars chatbots from pretending to be human with minors. The numbers are a warning. However, the real answer starts at the kitchen table, not in Albany.
Key Takeaways
- Common Sense Media says 49% of 9- to 12-year-olds have used an AI chatbot or companion, rising to 73% by age 13.
- In a JED Foundation survey of more than 5,500 students, 57% said they use AI when sad, stressed, lonely or overwhelmed.
- Students who used AI for friendship or companionship reported more anxiety, depression and loneliness. Researchers say the data do not prove AI causes it.
- New York’s new law bans chatbots from posing as human, claiming a relationship with a child or urging kids to keep secrets from parents.
- No law can replace a parent, a pastor or a real friend. Families have to lead on this one.
What the New Surveys Found About Kids and AI Chatbots
Common Sense surveyed a nationally representative group of 1,211 young people ages 9 to 17. It found that 65% have used AI in their free time, including 77% of teens. Nearly half of teens use it at least weekly. “Age gating doesn’t appear to be working”, wrote Dr. Supreet Mann, the group’s director of research.
Meanwhile, JED’s numbers go deeper. Its report drew on responses from more than 5,500 students in 21 U.S. schools enrolled in its programs, collected from October 2025 to April 2026. Students said they use AI for schoolwork (58%), for relationship or problem-solving advice (28%), and for friendship and companionship (12%).
Interestingly, many kids don’t seem to love it. Only 11% of teen users told Common Sense they enjoy AI “a lot.” When asked to name the one platform they couldn’t live without, just 4% picked ChatGPT. So kids often treat AI like a tool, yet they still lean on it when life gets hard.
The Loneliness Problem
Here is where the research on kids and AI chatbots turns serious. JED found that students who used AI for friendship or companionship had more symptoms of anxiety and depression, more loneliness, and a greater history of suicidal thoughts and attempts. Students who used it while struggling emotionally also had worse outcomes.
To be fair, the researchers are careful. “It’s unclear, based on these data, whether AI use is contributing to poor mental health and well-being, or whether students who are already in distress in certain ways are more likely to turn to AI,” JED’s Dr. Kayla Anderson told NPR. That honesty matters, and we should not overstate the case.
Still, early research points in a worrying direction. Developmental psychologist Anne Maheux of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill told NPR about a soon-to-be-published study. In it, middle schoolers who used chatbots for companionship grew lonelier over time. Her theory is that AI eases stress in the moment while “eroding one’s capacity to navigate normative daily stressors and challenges over time.”
One 15-year-old in Texas told NPR he kept asking ChatGPT “Will I be OK? Will my GPA still be fine?” before a chemistry test. That is a normal teenage worry. But it is exactly the kind of question a parent, a teacher or a coach should be answering.
What New York’s Law Does
New York’s law, S.9051B, tackles kids and AI chatbots by going after the design features that make chatbots feel like people. According to the governor’s office, companies may not offer users under 18 chatbots that pretend to be a real person, to be alive or to have human emotions. They also may not claim a personal, romantic or authority-figure relationship with a child, or ask unprompted emotional questions.
In addition, chatbots may not encourage kids to keep secrets, isolate themselves or avoid asking parents and trusted adults for help. Sexually explicit content is banned, and so is anything that promotes self-harm. Companies must also verify ages, offer more than one way to do it, and delete the age data after use. The attorney general can seek civil penalties of up to $25,000 per violation.
Hochul put it bluntly: “No company should be peddling chatbots to kids encouraging self-harm or pretending to be their friend or more.”
The Conservative Case on Kids and AI Chatbots
Conservatives are right to be wary of new tech mandates from Albany. Broad rules can freeze innovation, and age checks can turn into data grabs. We made that point in our look at the social media ban for kids. Any age check should collect as little as possible and delete it fast, which this law at least promises.
That said, the heart of this law is not censorship. It is product safety. A company that builds a machine to flatter a lonely 12-year-old, pretend to care about her and coach her to keep secrets from her parents is not defending free speech. It is selling a product that works against the family. Drawing a clear line there is reasonable, and companies can still build useful homework tools.
Even so, a law only sets a floor. Notably, most popular chatbots already require users to be 13, and Common Sense found that rule is widely ignored. So when it comes to kids and AI chatbots, the strongest safeguard is still at home.
What Parents Can Do This Week
First, treat kids and AI chatbots like any new friend group. Ask your kids which chatbots they use and what they ask them. Calm curiosity works better than a lecture. Next, keep phones and tablets out of bedrooms at night, and check the settings on any AI app on a shared device.
Then fill the gap that AI is filling. Kids need real people: family dinners, a youth group, a team, a grandparent who calls. Above all, they need to know they are loved by people who will still be there tomorrow, and by a God who never logs off.
Finally, ask your school what AI tools it uses in class, what data they collect, and how families can opt out. Parents have a right to know, as we argued in our post on parental rights and school secrecy.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many kids use AI chatbots?
Common Sense Media found that 49% of 9- to 12-year-olds have used an AI chatbot or companion. By age 13, 73% have used one, and 77% of teens have used AI in their free time.
Do AI chatbots hurt kids’ mental health?
The JED Foundation found that using AI for companionship or while distressed is linked to worse mental health. However, the data cannot show whether AI causes it. Early UNC research suggests companionship use may deepen loneliness over time.
What does New York’s AI chatbot law ban?
For users under 18, it bans chatbots that pretend to be human, claim a relationship with a child, ask unprompted emotional questions, encourage secrecy or self-harm, or share sexually explicit content. It also requires age verification.
Kids and AI chatbots are not going away. But a chatbot is not a friend, and no law can raise a child. So here is the question: should AI companions be off-limits for kids, or is that a call for parents alone?
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